Hello, it’s been a while.

This post will be a short update and a reflection on the last two years.

As I previously mentioned, I have a new job and will complete my second year of working here this month. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), there will be no third year because I resigned and will start a new job in two weeks.

I didn’t have any desire to write in any form. Either creative work or just personal journaling. In the last two years, I have been living very slowly—except during my 9 to 5—with no particular worry about being lonely. Perhaps because in fact, I found some of the nicest co-workers ever despite some office drama that happened. I loved the atmosphere, I was comfortable with most of the people. The employee package was the best I’ve ever got during my seven years of career. Most of the time I got no complaints and simply lived my quiet office worker’s life.

In the last two years also the period when I was the most aromantic in my entire life. No desire to find someone. Not having any crush. Not trying to get close to anyone. Like I’m currently super comfortable with the thought of being alone. Well, it was also because as I met many kinds of people in the office, many conversations and some events brought me to the conclusion that being straight and having a man as a romantic partner is mostly a waste of time and disadvantageous for women. Like if I want to feel some romance, I could just seek fiction and get my dose of butterflies there.

I did give a guy a chance during the middle of the year 2022. But let’s say I was super disconnected. Even tho he was nice and somehow gave his effort, I kept finding reasons why trying things with me would be a bad idea. Eventually, he gave up after I pulled out my ‘trump card’ aka religion, and my mom. No regrets at all. Now that I think about it, if I look back his effort was literally the bare minimum and I would end up returning the favor twice than what he gave.

Enough talk about that, let’s get to the point of why I decided to resign.

As expected from life, sooner or later there will be change. Sadly, this time, it wasn’t the change that I was able to endure any longer. I was hurt.

By the end of June 2023, a new manager came. My new manager. I wouldn’t expect one person to drastically change the whole atmosphere. I’m no stranger to working hard. My previous companies were the reason why I was so grateful for what I’ve been receiving here. At first, I tried to accommodate his demanding tasks. At some point, he trusted me and began to give me more tasks and I’m starting to get burned out. That and the way he treats us like we’re his servants or something got me even more fed up with the situation.

December 2023 was probably the most exhausting month I’ve ever experienced in my last two years. It seems everything that happened was to lead me to the point where I was determined to find a new job. That one morning, my manager was angry about something trivial. So angry he even took three times to lash his anger on me and dragged the other co-workers to receive his scoldings. When he said something along the lines that ‘my job is unimportant’ and ‘if I quit today he will find someone to replace me in a week or two’, I was hurt. I mean, I didn’t expect him to compliment me but I wouldn’t want my boss to say something as insensitive as that. Especially since I’ve always tried to fulfill his exhausting tasks and put my to-do list aside.

I thought enough was enough. If I don’t leave now I will be the one left out because the other co-workers also planning to resign. It’s not like the situation will get any better. No more pleasant atmosphere as my manager kept hiring new people while the company was at its highest turnover rate. It wasn’t only me who thought that the company somehow changing for the worse. So much toxicity going on that I thought if I’m going to get overworked may as well find a new job that will pay me better. I may gamble for a better situation where I don’t get someone insensitive as a leader.

Back to the present, here I am counting the hours to my last day tomorrow. I also have to prepare to move out to a new place closer.

I’m not sure what to expect in my new job. Not gonna lie, I’m quite anxious because, unlike the previous situation, I’m literally throwing away a full-time job with all of its benefits. My new job is full of possibilities— I’m saying this as a matter of fact. I will be the first HR in my new company which means so many things to build from zero.

I could only wish for the best.

Staying hopeful. Staying strong.