Today officially marked a year since I’ve been working for my current company. I have experienced ups and downs, many interesting experiences on and off works. Lessons are learned and last week I told my boss that I will not renew my contract.

 

I will resign in February.

 

You know, I feel grateful for the privilege of having a job when many people are struggling to get one. Especially in this pandemic. But as days passed, I have to be honest that it’s getting harder to be grateful. My works are though and the load is getting heavier. Meanwhile, I feel neglected mentally, physically, and financially.

 

I guess it’s true that a good leader and a supportive environment are the key reasons why an employee decided to stay. Unfortunately, I never feel that I’m being supported. My voices are not heard. The burdens are getting too much for just that much paycheck. I’m too exhausted to enjoy my weekend and experience stress-caused sickness during important datelines like the payroll period.

 

As I’m working in HR, I also take notes on how the company has so many unfair policies that not just break the law but are very unfair to most of us—both middle and bottom-level employees in the pyramid. All I can conclude is my company doesn’t look like one that values its human capital. 

Truthfully, I’m scared to look for a new job. I can say that I’m confident with my skills and experiences but… I don’t know what kind of company I will end up in next. But the thought of being able to rest and recharge for (hopefully) just a short period before starting anew in a different environment is the only thing that liberates me right now.

 

I’m willing to take a gamble.